You know, I hope this encourages you.
I believe for most in Tampines group knows that XX, SQ and I are secondary school friends and all also currently in the same church. What most didn’t know is the behind-the-scene and its still a work-in-progress. We used to be a clique of 3 (really just SQ, XX and I) and then we combined with another 2 cliques of 3 to form a total of 9 us. Other than 1 girl who also within this 8 – 10 years converted and attends a different church now, the other 5 are still on the waiting list.
I am the first one that came to God before I even met the whole group. That clique is something i felt is a real blessing from God and really treasure. For someone like me who then struggles with people skills, they are willing to accept me in their group despite of all my flaws. If I was to say honestly, I kind of forced myself into their group and they were nice enough to keep an abandoned person (and thats why I am grateful).
You know when I was in Secondary school, the joy of God always overflows and I always shared with them with learnings. Always asking them to come to church, always sharing about God to them. SQ always rejected, XX usually just ignores, of cause with me being dense, i couldn’t tell I am annoying them & just continued. I got scolded by SQ so often, she said that if she have wanted to go to church she would have gone to church with her cousins a long time ago. Of course who won’t cry about it when they are scolded :).
Till a single day, SQ got annoyed and she said “I will go”, XX being a follower just came along. The reason that SQ came was because she wanted me to stop annoying them about going to church. So both of them went to Nessus once, after that she told me in the face she isn’t coming anymore. During her outburst, I heard God told me to “shut up, its alright i will take care of it” and so I stop sharing with them about God. I guess that lighten our relationship a little.
As for the rest of the clique, we only formed up nearer in sec 4 year. i only heard the assurance from God while I was looking at all of them and giving thanks to God for placing them in my life during O Level period. Even through it pains me that I have to wait and things can’t happen now. I told God when I am 16, I got the rest of my life, I can wait. It will be interesting for us (with very different colours) to serve you together and I want to serve together with them.
I won’t forget them. So Axis fund raising, their names are under the chairs. Regardless, of how much they didn’t like me, made fun of me, scolded me for their fun, didn’t treasure or appreciated the group. All those tears, I say prayers for them. I will take the effort to organise meet ups (last time on everyone birthday, then slowly 4 times a year, then 2 then 1). Even so sometimes, I will try to make an effort to get to know each one of them individually. (Now that I think back, I am really thick skinned.. -.-‘’) I smile and make them laugh or let them make fun of me, its fine. Whatever hurts i get from them, i forgive. There are some changes and movements within the group since early last year.
Also, at the end of the day when they converted, I wasn’t beside them hence I also can’t claim credit or say i did the job. Only God have the glory. SQ came with her poly friend and he enjoyed the company in SP thats why she decided to say for the community. Later on became devoted. XX on the other hand, couldn’t take the pressure anymore in school and said she missed the times we had in secondary school, she felt comforted that despite the fast-changing world, my character stays consistent, she feels she can find refuge. She herself willingly decides she wants to come to church but faces opposition from her mum. & so I went on auntie’s blacklist, even when I have never met auntie before 😅 Even after all these year, this is also the first time the 3 of us untied into one area and seem like having a closer chance of serving together. (It has been 10 year)
I am thankful to God and glad to have more people on this side of the fight now. Also, thankful and amazed that they turn out to be strong and devoted people to the Lord. I won’t say I am the most faithful but from time to time when I meet them up or miss them, I contact them to make sure the connection doesn’t break. As long as i am still part of their lives, I get a chance no matter when to show or share to them about God’s love. I am sure they can feel your love for them.
I also pray that I could love my parents a little more in my prayer than what I have done for them. I will be grateful.
Let continue this race together.
Everlyse- "The One Consecrated to God" 